Now most people would have just called the cops, but I am a tender and caring person. So, I sat quietly by my window and took notes. Hopefully, my insight will help you stay out of divorce court/jail.
- You don't deserve each other.
- Seriously. You don't deserve each other.
Actually, you don't deserve anyone. You probably don't even deserve happiness. Think about it; neither of you have any clue how conduct yourself in a neighborhood full of people. If you did, you wouldn't be screaming "Go to fucking hell you crazy bitch" at 1:00 in the morning. It's no wonder that your relationship is falling apart, you're both under the impression that you're the only one who matters.
If karma exists, you'll both die alone.
- Education is your friend
- It's obvious that neither of you has had the funding to finish up that associates degree in ceramics from the local community college, but that still doesn't mean that you should act like an uneducated hillbilly from Coon Rapids. If you're going to treat your personal disagreements like a Broadway production, at least jot a few killer slams onto a napkin before the curtain goes up. Screaming "Fuck you, Bitch!" repeatedly, is not going to win you the tony award that you're obviously shooting for.
- You're from Coon Rapids
- Reminder: you live in Coon Rapids.
Is it really a good idea to verbally assault the only person who will probably ever be interested in you? You live in a town that's populated by criminals and trailer trash. So, every time you're about to say "Fine! Go to hell then!" just remember that this is probably the best you're ever going to do. Your partner may not be ideal, but look in the mirror, you're not winning any beauty pageants.
- You are an insufferable asshole.
- See points 1-3
awfulneighbors@gmail.com
