God Bless America

My idiotic neighbors spend the entire year training for July 4th.

Seriously. 

Not a single day on the calendar year goes buy without one of them finding something to light on fire until it explodes. Independence Day is the official holiday of this neighborhood.

And because everyone in my neighborhood is a bona fide muttonhead, they choose to celebrate in the most idiotic of ways.  Not a mile away, the city has invested thousands of dollars in an impressive fireworks display. That's right. The city has purchased a fireworks display that requires the fire department to be present. They're hiring professionals to blow shit up on a massive scale. You'd think this is exactly the type of entertainment that would tear my neighbors out of their collective lawn chairs. But what are they doing? 

Firing bottle rockets out of empty beer cans in the street. 

Apparently they only like explosions when they're the ones that cause the explosion. 

I should also point out that these types of fireworks are illegal in Minnesota. So, not only are they ignoring the impressive fireworks, but they have chosen to celebrate their independence by participating in illegal actives. I'm quite sure that none of them will ever understand this irony.

My only consolation is that one of them is guaranteed to injure himself.

awfulneighbors@gmail.com